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| Holy Bible: Contemporary English Version | 
 enlarge | Publisher: American Bible Society
Category: Book
List Price: $11.99
Buy New: $8.77
You Save: $3.22 (27%)
New (15) Used (7) from $7.99
Avg. Customer Rating:  23 reviews
Sales Rank: 14713
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 1567
Shipping Weight (lbs): 2.3
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.4
ISBN: 1585161616
EAN: 9781585161614
ASIN: 1585161616
Publication Date: June 1, 2000
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Clean text no marking. Your purchase supports the "Friday for Authors" grant program.
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| Customer Reviews:
 Good Book for children October 25, 2008
3 out of 4 found this review helpful
As several other reviewers have already noted, the Contemporary English Version of the Holy Bible is perfect for reading aloud to children. It's also the best version to buy if you're dyslexic, and when I say that, I'm not just kicking a daed dog. The publishers have dumbed down the prose, which was no easy task.
Many children, indeed, will be able now to read the Holy Bible for themselves; but you don't want to let your children do that, for the obvious reason that it has become entirely too easy, with publication of the CEV, for children to read and understand the holy Ghost's tales of gang-rape, sister-rape, incest, serial-killers, concubine-butchery, dismemberment, parent-slaughter, child-sacrifice, genocide, castration, providential incompetence. So, too, with those stories in the New Testament of sadistic crucifixions conducted to appease an angry and otherwise unforgiving God.
But there's also good stuff in here for your kids, such as the story of "Daniel in the Lion's Den," or "Joseph's Coat of Many Colors," or "The Good Shepherd and the Lost Lamb," or "Little Zacchaeus, the Tree-Climbing Dwarf."
Granted: when it comes to writing, the holy Ghost is no J.K. Rowling, but then, who is? The Bible may never win God a major book prize, but it actually has some pretty amazing history in it: until I came along (with Lucifer's "True History of Everything," on the Web) where else could you get true, eyewitness accounts of real talking snakes and donkeys? True biographies of men who lived to be 777, 895, and even 969 years old? True tales of happy virgins and ninety-year-old bubbelahs who gave birth to virtuous baby boys? True legends of Zamzummin giants and of the Hebrew lads who slew them? True tragedies of naughty housewives who were transformed into geological formations, or dogfood? True accounts of prophets taken up to Heaven in a tornado? True spectacles of grim domestic homicide and of genocidal slaughter? True tragedies of gang rape, bodily dismemberment, blind Sodomites, and drunken incest? - and, at no extra charge, an appendix ("New!") with easy-to-follow instructions on how to save your sorry arse from Hell?
Truly: if you purchase yourself a paperback copy of the Contemporary English Version and don't spring for one of those fancy $90 leather-bound Authorized jobs, the Holy Bible is still a good deal. Buy one. Or steal one from the bedstand drawer of your next motel room. (Trust me: it will not be missed by Mr. Gideon.)
Next, read it. All of it.
Okay, not all at once. It works best to feast on the Word of God as you would eat food in a cafeteria: Browse a little! Take what you want, don't spit on the rest! And when you get indigestion, quit for a few hours before returning for more, or you'll soon grow fat and stupid - I mean, just look at the Rev. Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jerry Falwell, or at every other Pope. I mean, no, don't look at them.
The Bible is a lot like Pray TV. You can't just sit on your bum and blame the show's producer for having wasted your time. Exercise a little discernment. Seriously, there's juicy stuff in the Bible, even for adults, if you know where to look, such as the Song of Solomon.
Are you looking as well for fully drawn characters? sublime aesthetic satisfaction? irony? suspense? tragic sensibility? a coherent sense of morality? If you want all of that when you read the Bible, well, then! - just exercise your God-given imagination!
--L
Easy September 15, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Of course there is really nothing negative to say about "our" Holy Bible. The comments I would share with everyone is the ease, convenience, and very competitive price at Amazon. Will certainly do more business with them from time to time.
 Does not Deliver September 3, 2008
6 out of 20 found this review helpful
This book claims that praying to this god will get you stuff you want... not true. I tried praying for a new car... I waited and got nothing. I then prayed a coupled of times to get this chicks number at the bar, again to no avail. I highly recommend that you try some other religion because this one does not deliver. Last week I tried the satanic bible... I then prayed for a cheeseburger and got it. I highly recommend trying the satanic bible over this one.
Yet again? August 12, 2008
5 out of 17 found this review helpful
Oh look another book about a God. Another translation by man. Then you go to church and your church puts the Spin on it that they desire.
To be quite honest I find the characters are very one dimensional, way too much racism, sexism, and use of the word "Damn" while speaking of unspeakable tortures.
The God in there is an angry tyrant the first half and the second half he's loving and just. This Jesus character who claims to be trying to make sense of everything speaks in Parables which means you have to translate everything he says.
I can't help but feeling that all the authors that have been placed into this compilation lost track of the main goals that they were going for and really created a lot of confusion that would only lead to arguments and possibly oppression of people based on misinterpreted or absolutely wrong ideals.
For this I feel this book is not worth anyone's time in reading unless you are a glutton for punishment and don't mind the lack of cohesive story throughout.
A wonderful, easy-to-understand Bible August 8, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
I am very happy with this Bible. The language is made easier to understand while the wonderful messages from the Bible remain unchanged.
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